Mommy's Little Angel

Since we just celebrated Mother's Day this past weekend, I thought it would be a good time to reflect on what being a mother has meant to me, in the past 4 years of my journey on this road they call motherhood. Everyone says that becoming a parent will forever change you in ways you never thought possible, and they couldn't be more right. For those of you that are parents, this will make perfect sense, and for those of you that are not parents, you will think I'm absolutely insane....and truth be told, I probably am by now~but you don't know what you are missing here on the "mother" side!!!

I remember longing to be a mother long before I wanted to be anything else. In fact, one of my nicknames in highschool (besides Nettie, Netts and Net) was "Mom". I always knew I wanted to be a Mom, and I always knew it would be special. I was thrilled to be pregnant, eventhough I was very ill for the entire 9 months. It was my first experience as a Mom, and I wasn't going to let a little throwing up (OK...a lot of throwing up!) dampen my spirits and prevent me from enjoying any part of this wonderful gift. People are full of free advice when you are pregnant, and even have more to offer once your precious bundle of joy arrives. They've been there, done that, seen it all, heard it all, tried it all....there's nothing those parents of 6 mos olds haven't done!!! People (usually strangers on the street!) tell you how to look after your baby, how to soothe them when they are crying in the mall and how to stop a toddler's temper tantrum at a restaurant....but what they don't tell you is how this whole new experience will make you feel. Maybe that's because it's different for everyone, or maybe that's because there are no words to describe how it will change your heart forever.

When Harrison was a baby, I held him for hours (like 20 out of the 24 a day!) and was happy just staring at him, awake or asleep in my arms, in his crib, the carseat, the swing, the bath, the stroller....OK you get the idea! How could this be my baby? How could he be so perfect? And not just perfect in the perfect sense, but so perfect for me? But more than that, how could this precious and perfect being not be a gift from God? I felt so lucky and so blessed to be given such an amazing gift and responsability, by none other than God himself. There is no doubt that a match like this could only have been made in Heaven.

The love you feel for your child is so strong, yet so gentle and tender at the same time. There isn't anything you wouldn't do for that little life, placed in your care and entrusted to you. As they begin to grow and develop their own personality, it's nothing short of a miracle to watch them and see yourself relfected in them. It takes your breath away and makes you cry tears of joy and pride so intense your heart can't hold it all in. Nothing else matters except their happiness. This is the hard part for the non-parents to understand. Until you have a baby, you think money, your career, your social life and your golf game are the most important things in your life, and you can't imagine sacrificing them for a baby. Then your baby is born and your priorities shift instantly. Going out is suddenly less important as it means sacrificing time away from your little treasure, not the other way around.

It's hard to let them go and to leave babyhood behind, and it's even harder to watch them grow into preschoolers from toddlers....as this means they are growing up, and you are forced to leave those precious moments behind as you realize those are times you will never get back. However, no matter what stage they seem to be heading towards, it only seems to get better as they start to talk and reveal their own inner beauty as they share little bits of themselves with you. And once that starts to happen, all of your efforts, pain, sweat and tears that you've poured into them this far with what appears to be little results, will begin to pay off tenfold. And that makes all the hard and frustrating times we as parents face every single day on the job, worth every bit of it!

My example brings us back to Mother's Day. While putting Harrison to bed last week, I asked him what he'd like to get my Mom for Mother's Day. His reply not only astounded me, but had me in tears when he said so thoughtfully, "A golden necklace". Wow....my kid's got taste! How did he come up with that? He truely amazes me! And so I took him out shopping, and he insisted we go to a jewellery store, not the jewellery department at Sears or The Bay, which is where I tried to take him! He chose (by himself!) a beautiful 18K gold necklace with a nice #1 Grandma pendant. Like I said, the kid's got taste! It was a little bit more expensive than I had budgeted for, however he was so proud of himself, how do you say no to that? Of course my Mom loved it and was also very touched by his thoughtfulness.

I can't help but feel love, blessings beyond what vocabulary alone will allow, and immense pride to call myself his mother. He has a huge, generous, kind and loving heart, a beautiful spirit and an amazing sense of thoughtfulness and consideration for others. For all of these reasons and so many more he will always be Mommy's Little Angel.

PS Included in this special motherhood entry are pictures of Harrison from babyhood to toddlerhood, as well as one of my favorites of him with me (his mother!) and with my mother. Don't all sleeping babies look like little angels?!