Powerful Parental Personality

This is a PS to my last entry. As you read, I am trying to figure out if it's personality or parenting that molds our children into the people/adults they become. After reading the comments, discussing it with a few more people and pondering the point further myself, I have failed to include a couple of key points, that I did not think of until now. That perhaps both (parenting and personality) play a role in the way our toddlers turn into preschoolers, however I now think that parenting does play a larger role, and as far as I can tell, I have failed miserably in that department!!! The other possibility that did not occur to me until I gave it more thought, was the parent's personality!

Now I believe I'm on to something! I thought perhaps I could blame this all on his personality, then after more intense consideration, and a whole lot of people telling me that is ridiculous, I was forced to look deep within, and accept the fact that I am responsable for how he turns out! Therefore, it's both my parenting style and my personality that are affecting Harrison, not his personality! I am afterall the adult, and he the child~making it up to me to change my ways to better suit him, not the reverse!

Having kids is a wake-up call, as you see yourself in them, both your strengths and your weaknesses. Now my challenge as a parent becomes guiding him in the right direction, respecting him as a whole human being, weaknesses included! It becomes more personal when it's your own weaknesses facing you, creating the biggest challenge. Since they are my weaknesses, I obviously don't have a handle on them, making my job more difficult trying to help him work through them. If I knew how to work through them, they wouldn't be my weaknesses now would they?! Since I don't want his life to be difficult, I'd like him to learn from an early age how to deal with his impatience, his stubborness, his anger, his temper and his physical aggression. (also all my weaknesses except the last one~so far anyway!) Like my very good and wise girlfriend Angela said (in the comments in my last entry) it's something we are both learning together, like a dance. Most days I feel like no one sent me the steps to that dance...is it too late to get them now?!

The conclusion I have come to, is that it's not the child's personality that matters, but rather the parent's personality and their parenting style that most affect the child's behaviour and attitude. And after taking a good look at mine, I need to make some big changes in both of those departments before I see any results! Like Dr Phil says, "you cannot change what you don't acknowledge". Now that I see the problem, it's only a problem if I don't fix it! Looks like some self-improvement is on my agenda for the next while!!! I have only failed if I don't try!!!

In my defense, I really thought I was more patient and understanding and better suited for this job! I knew it would be hard work, but I didn't realize how much my personality and weaknesses would come back to haunt me, nor did I realize just how many weaknesses I had! It's an uphill struggle to change your personality, but he's worth every bit of it to me!!! I fear that I came across as not enjoying him or being a mom~which is not true. I love my son like crazy and really enjoy being his mom. I feel honoured to have been chosen to be the parent of such an amazing human being, full of life, spunk and spirit! I also know that these traits that make life more challenging as a parent, will turn out to be the most rewarding as he heads into adulthood, with a love for life and an un-ending will and determination to reach his goals!!! He has a beautiful soul and the biggest heart of any 3 yr old I know! This Hurricane will travel far on life's path, leaving a legacy of love, kindness and generosity behind him!